Couples & Sex Therapy

“We are born in relationship, we are wounded in relationship, and we can be healed in relationship.” – Harville Hendrix

Kimberly Clapp, Mariage and Family therapise in Santa Monica, CA.

Kimberly Clapp M.S. M.A. C.R.C. M.F.T.

Marriage & Family Therapist

Question to Ponder When Considering Couples Therapy

  • Do you find yourself disconnected from your partner?
  • Do you notice that you're having the same arguments over and over?
  • Do you get stuck in the blame game, criticizing? defending?
  • Do you having trouble agreeing on how to parent your children or are you dealing with the unique stressors of a blended family?
  • Do you having difficulty talking about sex?
  • Do you find your sexual relationship is unsatisfactory, or the sex is not like it was in the beginning of your relationship?

Specialized Training

I have completed my fellowship in the UCLA Couples and Sex Therapy training program with Dr. Walter Brackelmanns MD through AACAST (The American Association of Couples and Sex Therapists).

How I Work

As a couple’s therapist, I am active, empathetic, caring, and nonjudgmental while maintaining control of the session and not taking sides. Effective couples therapy treats the relationship, the relationship is my client.

Ways of Communicating

I teach couples to communicate in specific ways that eradicates destructive communication i.e.: criticizing, defending, demanding, blame, anger outbursts. It is important to treat the problem rather than the person as the problem. If someone is struggling with anxiety, the anxiety needs to be treated. I find externalizing these issues with compassion and empathy helps to move from fear-based communication to compassion and empathy.

Talking about feelings and negative beliefs is far more effective than blame and shame. I understand that couples need the tools and skills to learn how to communicate. My clients tell me that they appreciate my engagement with them in the session, helping them navigate tough topics and feelings.

My Goal

My goal is to work myself out of a job, I want the couples I work with to be able to use the tools they have learned in our sessions outside of therapy. The couples I treat typically move from regular weekly sessions to coming in for an occasional ‘tune up’.

Some couples come to me for premarital counseling and some need help with unconscious coupling and co-parenting. I meet clients where they are and adjust my treatment strategies based on their goals. Often revisiting and checking in to make sure they are getting what they need out of our time together.

Who I Work With

I welcome all cultures, ethnicities, sexual orientations, and gender identities, I work with traditional and non-traditional couples.

Couples Therapy Treatment Specialties

  • Communication issues
  • Infidelity
  • Affair repair
  • Conflict resolution
  • Closeness issues
  • Issues related to sex
  • Alternative family planning and infertility
  • Surrogacy and IVF
  • Family planning using sperm and/or egg donation
  • LGBTQIA couples therapy

How Working with a Couples Therapist May Help

  • Tools and skills to communicate in a specific way that is effective
  • Support and guidance
  • Insight into what feels comfortable sexually
  • Feeling closer to your partner
  • Deeper empathic connection to yourself and your partner
  • Insight
  • Clarity
  • A better understanding of yourself and your partner
  • Rebuilding trust

Couples Sex Therapy Treatment

Sexual positivity promotes and embraces sexuality with few limits beyond an emphasis on safe sex and the importance of consent. Sex positivity is "an attitude towards human sexuality that regards all consensual sexual activities as fundamentally healthy and pleasurable and encourages sexual pleasure and experimentation.

Specialized Training

I am a trained Sex Therapist and treat all things sexual in my practice. Couples come to me for a variety of reasons: their sex life is not what they want it be or has changed, one or more partners has a sexual dysfunction or sexual addiction or both. I also assess for trauma and possible effects of trauma on the sexual relationship.

How I Work

I treat sexual dysfunction and addiction with tremendous sensitivity and care. Underlying feelings of shame can block people from getting treatment. The benefit in coming to a specialist is that clients know they are coming to someone who hears about these issues frequently and is not reluctant to talk about erectile dysfunction, masturbation, porn and/or other topics that may be uncomfortable to talk about.

I am passionate about helping people recover from sexual dysfunction, sexual addiction, and porn addiction. With support and guidance and much care I help my clients to feel comfortable with their sexuality by sorting through what feels comfortable for them.

Treatment Specialties for Couples Sexual Issues

  • Erectile dysfunction
  • Rapid ejaculation
  • Delayed ejaculation
  • Performance anxiety
  • Lack of desire
  • Pelvic pain
  • Vulvodynia, Vaginismus
  • Loss of sexual desire/ low libido
  • Body image issues that may inhibit feeling free
  • Sexual trauma/ PTSD
  • Sexual addiction and porn addiction
  • Sexual anorexia
  • Sexual phobias

Benefits of Working with a Sex Specialist

The benefit in coming to a specialist is that clients know they are coming to someone who hears about these issues frequently and is not reluctant to talk about erectile dysfunction, masturbation, porn and/or other topics that may be uncomfortable to talk about.

How Working with a Sex Specialist May Help

  • Treatment for sexual addiction and/or porn addiction
  • Tools, skills and resources to treat sexual dysfunction
  • Treatment for anxiety and shame
  • Feeling connected in relationship
  • Improved confidence and self esteem
  • Clarity
  • Insight into what feels comfortable sexually

Resources:

  • Inter-Analytic Couples Therapy An Inter-personal and Psychoanalytic Model Book One: The Theory, Search for the Other – Walter E. Brackelmanns, M.D.
  • Getting the Love You Want – Harville Hendrix, PH.D
  • Mating In Captivity - Esther Perel
  • Why Marriages Succeed or Fail - John Gottman, PhD

Male Sexuality

  • The New Male Sexuality: The Truth about Men, Sex, and Pleasure – Bernie Zilbergeld
  • PE: How to Overcome Premature Ejaculation – Helen Singer-Kaplan
  • Coping With Erectile Dysfunction: How to Regain Confidence and Enjoy Great Sex – Michael Metz & Barry McCarthy

Female Sexuality

  • Becoming Orgasmic: A Sexual & Personal Growth Program for Women – Julia Heiman & LoPiccolo
  • For Yourself: The Fulfillment of Female Sexuality – Lonnie Barbach
  • A Woman's Guide to Overcoming Sexual Fear &amo; Pain – Goodwin & Agronin

Sex, Love and Intimacy for Partners

  • Intimacy: Trusting Oneself and the Other – Osho
  • Beyond Orgasm – Marty Klein
  • Erotic Intelligence – Alexandra Katehakis

The American Association of Couples and Sex Therapists (AACAST)

If you would like to explore working with me and how it might change your life for the better — don’t wait — call me today or click below to set up your complimentary consultation!

Complimentary Consultation